"Whatever task you undertake, do it with all your heart and soul. Always be courteous, never be discouraged. Beware of him who promises something for nothing. Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures. Do not look for approval except the consciousness of doing your best."
Bernard Baruch
The need to continually give test of itself to the other ones is the worse obstacle on the road of your personal growth.
If you surrender to this need you put you in the hands of the people of which you aim to get the consent and the admiration.
Those people who act with calm efficiency don't warn it.
The discourse is different in the case of children, because all, from small, they obey to the natural tendency to show.
Everybody wants that the others, and particularly his/her parents, approve them and share their pride for the acquisition of a new ability or for the attainment of a new victory.
"Daddy, look at me! Look as I swim, as I plunge me, as I skate, as I go by bicycle" and so on.
All, to that age, they have need that other people's eyes follow them with admired attention, because the childish self-concept develops him/her on the base of the reactions with which the adults welcome the overcoming of every new experience.
But you are not more than their children and therefore the need to make to notice you, or to show all the time how much you are worth it is not more admissible.
Unless you do not belong to that category of adults that they are not matured to sufficiency and they continue to aspire to the approval of those people that surround them.
If you won't know how to make to keep silent this need you will have to suffer quite a lot in the life, because you will feel you unhappy and deeply embittered and tormented by the internal doubts every time that the others won't pay you attention, or when they will disapprove you and above all when will not comprehend you.
Then you will find you closed in a vicious circle: you will strive never you to receive consents and respect and understanding and the others, realizing that you have a so great need of it; they would always purchase greater power on you.
If you desire really to become more independent, abdicates to be approved and also to be inclusive.
Not you even imagine how much energy you can free if you succeed in doing this.
The people that look for really to simply improve themselves don't have time to think about what the other ones they think.
This doesn't mean not to converse and not to listen to the others.
If you abdicate the consent and the approval of the others, paradoxically you become more attractive and charismatic, your power will increase, but you don't care to check the others, you want only to increase your knowledge and to improve yourself.
This attitude will serve from example to whom feels insecure, besides it will also stimulate in who is you near the desire to improve and to know.
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