Individuality Is Your Inviolable Divine Right

"Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true."

Buddha

The Need to create your own individuality is an instinct that is verified in every aspect of the life.

In the societies in which such instinct is denied, societies directed to the conditioning of the people, as it regards the aspect, the way of dressing, to think, because all owe act in the same way, it increases the sense of discomfort, of boredom, of apathy.

Individuality is not something that is wanted to simply express for play.

Your highest necessities are not those that try to impose you a green bow on the nose, so that to be able to show to the others that you are of the original ones or of the characters.

Individuality comes by chance instead, in the moment in which you try to find the better way to behave you: in to dress, in to cook, in to speak, in to think, in to play to sweater, or if you decide to paint a picture.

Nevertheless, in a person, who has no limits, the individuality in its whole is cultivated when the internal signals respect him above those outside.

The external signals try to extinguish the fundamental human right to the individuality: they try to force the individual to paint in the same way according to which the others paints, to exactly answer to a question as they would make the other classmates to bring the hat tilted in the same way of the others.

In my life I have discovered that so many people have appreciated my individuality, that is the particular way according to which I decide to do something.

These people appreciated equally their individuality, while those that my individuality has condemned, tried to diminish it without ever succeeding.

Personally I do me a beautiful laughter when this happens and I am really worried for their ignorance.

Remember, dear friend! Nobody on this earth is identical to anyone else!

Your duty is only that to be faithful to yourself and to anyone else and to develop your potential as human being.

If you don't believe in this you will be always a puppet in the hands of somebody else.

To Overreact Is the Key of Inhibition

“The excessive increase of anything causes a reaction in the opposite direction”

Plato

The science of Cybernetics has offered us a new way to understand the inhibit personality, and has shown also the way to free us of it, to become again free and to remove our spirit from the imprisonment in which we had forced deliberately.

The negative reaction in a servo system is equivalent to critical spirit, and it tells us in effects: "You have been wrong, you have taken the wrong course, you have to undertake a corrective action to return on the correct direction."

The purpose of the negative reaction, nevertheless, is to modify the answer, to modify the course of a progressive action, not to stop it completely.

If the negative reaction works as it owes, a missile or a torpedo react to the "critics" in such measure to be corrected the rout continuing to advance toward the target.

Nevertheless if these mechanisms are too much sensitive to negative reactions, the servo system moves them beyond the limit and instead of progressing toward the target they will perform too much side moves or they will stop entirely every further footstep in before.

Our innate servo system works equally in our mind.

We have to have negative reactions to positively act, to direct our walk or to be driven toward a purpose.

The Power Of A Deep Want

“The desire to know is natural to good men.”

Leonardo da Vinci

To succeed indeed to change opinions and behaviours, the rational thought has to be joint to a depth feeling and to an intense desire.

Make you an imagine of what you would like to be and of what you would like to have, start from the presumption that such things are achievable and you make to rise in you a depth desire for them, with great enthusiasm.

Gather your attention on them and you keep on thinking them.

Your actual negative opinions are formed through the thought and through the feelings.

You now try to make to raise in you a depth desire and you will see your thoughts and your new ideas replacing the old ones.

If you proceed to such analysis you will see that you are applying a method that you employed also in the past: the interest and the worry.

The only difference is that you have changed your purposes from negative to positive.

When you worry about something the first thing that you do it is to vividly imagine an undesirable future event without making some effort and without applying your wish.

Your attention has always centralized on the final result; you keep on intensely thinking of you, starting to think to it as a possibility.

You play with the idea that this could really happen.

This constant repetition and to think in terms of possibility makes you appear more and more the real final result.

The suitable emotions will automatically rise.

The power of a deep want can really produce miracles! It works!

Social Conditioning And Self-Improvement Need

"Basically the school system sets you up with what it wants to set you up with. They're really good at it. I think they're too good. Problem is, what they're doing is conditioning kids to merely accept the culture at hand. But the rebels won't accept it."

Jack Bowman

We all know how much is difficult - in the career and in the life - to find a perfect equilibrium among oneself legitimate aspirations toward self-improvement and outside consent and the social acceptance.

Dear friend, if you have gotten used to think as a yes-man, my words they won't serve a lot to you.

But if you believe instead that to have personal aspirations and above all that it is your birthright to find the time to develop your potential, then I have a lot to tell you.

Personally I have never given any importance to the votes during the school, nor to the degrees, nor to the hierarchies, nor to the medals and the various systems prize-punishment what that are so nested in our society.

Some like those of the authoritarian systems are very evident, others, very more deceitful and subtle, they hide them in the publicity and in the need of social approval.

If you think about the career as to a succession of steps to conquer and where the level of prestige and consent of every step is default and measurable, then you won't have a lot of space for an authentic self-improvement.

If we measure our success in our career and in our life in base to what others have established, we can never know what really means personal growth is.

Personal growth is not a medal, neither a social position, neither a reward in money.

Personal growth is a continuous trial, it doesn't have any destination or particular objective, if not that to live more happily the possible and in peace with him same.

As they sustain the gurus of the positive thought, money is a form of energy that naturally achieves and without effort to whom feels illuminated and inspired in all of this that ago.

I understand that this will seem you difficult to accept, but I am able to confirm that this is true because I have experimented it many times at first hand.

To overcome the social conditioning and to try to be the more possible independent from the various systems prize-punishment, to think with your head, to accept the fact that cannot be nice to all those that you meet, is everybody signals that go to the correct direction.

The correct direction is what makes you feel well, in peace with your conscience, and that give you in every moment of your day the precise awareness that you are doing of your best.

The greatest prize is the conquest of your personal independence and the ability to approve yourself without any outward confirmation.

This objective is not incompatible with the family or with the society.

Contrarily, self-realized people are very often really those that have more success both in the job and in the affective relationships.

Do Not Abdicate Your Dreams, Never!

"Pay attention to your dreams - God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep."

Eileen Elias Freeman

A lot of people, dissatisfied of their profession, they don't simply dare to make this jump.

They are enslaved of a self-destructive thought that consists of finding an apparent safety: "If I stay where I am, cannot happen anything.

If however I leave my nest, in truth tightened and uncomfortable, but warm, may happen some terrible things."

The dreadful things happen really if you remain, not if you go.

Aggressive, envious, stiffened, you are firm, while it would be being this way effortless to detach the flight.

If you believe to do it, you will do it. The man is what he thinks.

If you think of being a person of success, you are.

You only have perhaps a dark feeling of dissatisfaction of yours profession, however don't know yet whether to do instead.

Don't try to resolve the problem making to come you the headache and don't listen too much to the suggestion of the others.

The other ones have their own reasons why they would see you gladly in this or that profession, but this doesn't mean yet that it would be also really the right one for you.

You are not here for being as the others want to have you!

If you are confused and you don't know in what direction you have to go, listen to your intuition.

The best method is to relieve at first yourself with physical exercises then to meditate entirely relaxed.

In the meditative self-contemplation the ability develops him to realize and it is mediator of miracles.

Say yourself: "I believe in the miracles, because I am realist."

It makes to come to the surface what you have already known for a long time deeply inside you.

You have only to penetrate in your conscience.

Look at your dreams, they gives some precious information.

Who says not to be able to remember his/her own dreams he/she is saying no to be in contact with his/her inner life.

If you want to preserve your dreams, you can do it.

Have trust in yourself and you will find a marvellous solution, perfect and then you will say: natural, that is!

Why I had not arrived before there?

Best Way To Dissipate Negative Feelings

“The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into action”

Madame de Stael

It is in your interest to decide whether to immediately express the negative feelings or if to hold back them up to when you won't have understood them and you will have studied the best way to resolve them.

Many ways exist for resolving emotions that upset.

You could like to meditate, to write a letter or to talk to the involved person.

You can wonder: What alternatives I have? Which is the best way to face this feeling? Which is the best way for they dissipate? Which is the most constructive action that I can undertake for getting what I want?

Anxiety can for example, be eliminated removing the threat that provokes it.

A lot of people constitute a threat for themselves focusing habitually themselves on negative possibility.

You can reduce to the least one instead the anxiety setting you questions that stimulate a solution.

Assemble you on the best way to get what you want.

Ask you: What I am afraid to lose? Which is the best thing that I can do for preventing the loss and to minimize the pain? Which is the most proper way to reach what I want?

When it speaks of anger, it is in your interest to directly express your pain to the involved person.

Explain you her because you are angry. You specify as his/her behaviour as provoked your anger and you express the desire to find the best solution for everybody.

You begin saying: When you behave you so, I am angry and you hurt me because... Which is the best way to resolve the problem?

Remember: only you have the power to transform negative feelings in action!

This is the best way to go and in the same time the best way to affirm us.

How Education Affects People Behaviour (Second Part)

"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you."

B.B. King

We have discovered in the first part that the principal function of the knowledge is the survival of the individual.

However today we forget an important fact: both space and time contraction makes the environment in which the individual has to adapt changing continuously.

The education should precede the changes with the same speed and, accordingly, to prepare above all the individuals from a cultural point of view.

This should be true both regarding knowledge and values.

Instead this doesn't happen, and there is by now an increasing asynchrony between the technological development and the culture.

Being a modern man today it means above all to understand the relationships among the things, really because it is this type of education that allows to interpret better the reality in which we lives.

The individual behaviour is exclusively influenced by the models of consumption and not from a solid preparation, both from a scientific and from an economic point of view.

It is true that the access to the information and to knowledge is much more available that in the past and it is to disposition of everybody, thanks also to the Internet.

Nevertheless the role of the formal education is clearly insufficient to prepare the people, for this it makes him necessary to resort to the auto-formation.

Only resorting to the auto-formation and to continuing education the individual can hope to fill this gap and to live as a protagonist the new millennium.

You treats therefore to go over the survival, deals with understanding the challenges that attend us, above all that energetic, and to gather all the opportunities of career and personal improvement, that are in front of us.

How Education Affects People Behaviour (First Part)

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."

Albert Einstein

Which is the purpose of the education? There are many answers to a similar question.

There is one of them, however, that seems essential to me: the education first of all has to allow the adaptation of an individual (and of a society) to its environment.

It has to be a tool of survival.

It was always state so, during the history of the humanity: the things that a generation handed down to the other one were the fruit of the preceding experiences.

These were destined to resolve better the daily problems both as it regarded the ability to go to hunting or to build a shelter.

The knowledge that was handed down could concern besides the respect of certain rules of behaviour towards the other members of the group, with the purpose to maintain the cohesion among the individuals.

The cohesion was necessary for the survival of the single ones.

Already in the most primitive associative forms they are glimpse, in short, those that are undoubtedly the two fundamental aspects of the education: the knowledge and the values.

The knowledge of the problems and the way of resolving them, for example the ability to build and to use a lance or that to build and to use a computer and the values to suit oneself to the environment.

Arsenals of models of behaviour (encoded in the ethics, in the traditions, in the laws) protect the survival of the individual through that of his/her group of affiliation.

The education has always had this fundamental function of survival and it continuous to have also nowadays.

Do Not Regard Yourself Behind Anybody

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world."

Buddha

If you are really definite to operate from today in the future departing from a position of strength, you first of all stop considering you inferior to the others on the plan of the natural dignity of the human person.

And above all let No One Look Down On You.

After all it is known that the people that "they are really worth" treat theirs similar, without making distinctions of titles and social status, with that politeness that one define "humanity."

You remember that the «important people» with which you may treat, as officials of bank, lawyers, medical or whoever you want, that probably you consider "many steps on top" of you, they are only your partners in a business relationship and that as you need them, they needs you.

A business relationship in which you are both "contracting parts" is established also with the public officials to whom you address to create a file.

They don't make you a "favour" to free title, although they often seem comply only with you.

You should be aware that you employ them indirectly with taxes.

Moreover, try to avoid that "Oh! Poor Me" attitude because this way you impliedly allow other to look down on you, even if they are not aware of this.

Your daily attitude and the way you regard yourself is much more important than you have ever thought!

Persons Worth Much More Than Things

"Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value"

Albert Einstein

Sometimes it is unavoidable to underline with strength the concept that people are infinitely worth more than things.

If you were by chance among those people that attribute a very greater importance to the acquisition of the material good of how much they attribute to the life humanly lived of it, to begin from theirs, you would make you enslaved, and therefore victims, of the things, or of the money, or than it generally happens you.

The people directed of preference toward the possession find a lot of difficulties in the relationships with theirs similar.

They don't know how to speak «with» the others; they speak «to the» others, to give orders and to control them and to manipulate them, in a word, to serve them to his/her own goals.

But the fact is that people who try to turn them into his/her own slaves on the emotional plan bother many: they prefer to keep away from the potential exploiter.

The exploiter then realize he/she is checked by his/her victims and consequently he/she bring himself/herself toward the possession of things, so he/she ends with to be closed in a vicious circle from which he/she is not able anymore to go out.

But things are sterile, incapable of feelings.

He/she doesn't succeed in establishing with them a relationship of understanding and affection mutual and all of this that draws from the frantic yearning to assure them to him reduces him to the loneliness and the frustration.

What counts really to the world are human beings and all of this that alive.

You won't have possibility of joy if life will miss around you that will share and that in turn it will make you feel alive.

If you realize you to sacrifice your life of relationship to the pursuit of the material wealth, of the money, of the prestige, ask you what you would draw in last analysis of it.

If you didn't have anybody anymore to love and nobody that repays you of love, would end with the losing every taste to the life and then all the good accumulated with so much fury would be emptied also of every value to your eyes.

Learn To Move Around Difficulties

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."

Albert Einstein:

The beta bench on which you will show if you are able of to be creative you will find not it in the normal carrying out of the daily life, on the contrary, every time that you will have to face some unexpected difficulties.

It often seems more convenient, over how easier, to lift flag of truce and to surrender oneself, but in reality the surrender is always behaviour self-destructive, because he becomes victims of the disappointment and the bitterness that it draws.

Who refuses to passively accept the so-called 'misfortune', it will overcome better not only the counterblows of it, but he/she will often succeed in drawing something good from what seemed an irreparable evil.

In such cases the keystone of your attitude will have to be the promptness in to realize the advantages that you could draw from the circumstance, for ill-omened that is, and the ability to roll up your sleeves to grab the favourable occasions as soon as they happen.

And even in the case that you didn't even perceive the shade of it will suit you to maintain a positive attitude, so that pessimism doesn't make you veil preventing some potential advantage to glimpse you.

When we were children none of us it suspected, even distantly, that life could be a game in which the papers are mixed badly and for this we knew how to revolve the difficulties, we were experienced in to upset the medal discovering that the other face was not then so much evil.

Did a sudden snowfall mess up a project to which we held so much?

And we, overcome the first disappointment, we found our proper pleasure in the incident that had been the cause of it and we had a good time making the snowmen, to engage a battle to balls of snow with the companions and we perhaps saw us happen even the unexpected gift of a day of vacation.

We didn't find the time of feel distressed, in other words, because we were able of to live creatively every moment of the life.

For this same ability we knew how to turn the greyness of a scholastic classroom during the most boring of the lessons into a tolerable place contriving extemporaneous diversions and also finding motive for fun in the most insipid things in itself, because we possessed the natural propensity to creatively live, or rather to make to work the imagination in all the circumstances.

The Importance To Live Creatively

“The crucial variable in the process of turning knowledge into value is creativity.”

John Kao

What it means to live creatively?

I do not refer my self to a particular artistic field or to the ability to bring new contributions in some cultural field.

In our context creativeness doesn't have anything to do with the music, the literature, with the figurative arts, with the sciences or with other disciplines.

It simply points out the inherent potential ability in every human being to develop any job and to live every situation really.

Live creatively means to not need to follow rigidly prefabricated schemes and to rely on oneself instead of following the instructions of a manual or to address to others.

The definite person is convinced to "make the grade" and not to become victim of something or someone.

He/she always acts in really, in every circumstance, trying to draw the good possible party from every given situations in the life.

To live creatively means to look around, in any environment is found there, and to wonder: "As I could draw a positive experience of it?

What could I say, to do, to think or to try so that to draw a teaching of it and to internally enrich me?"

And this will have to become also your attitude, you have enough to suffer everything as passive subjects and depressed.

Diversify Your Skills Improves Your Value

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

Charles Darwin

One of the most important things I learned in my life is not to put all my eggs in one basket.

I am talking about skill and learning. Having a lot of interest in different domains and matters sure it helped me.

My interdisciplinary competencies always allowed me to deal with complex tasks and as a consequence I was well paid.

What I often noticed is the lack of interaction not only among the professionals in career terms, but also in generally, among people, in life terms.

This is especially true when people are talking about and discuss a hard subject.

Everyone is an expert in something but one is in troubles when has to communicate with others.

It seem a special kind of post-industrial new "Tower of Babel" where anyone is able to talk to anyone else.

I personally think is very important for everyone to know how to see the big picture.

Our formal education is obsessed by the idea of specialization and fragmentation.

The result is that the individual general knowledge is too fragmented and to divided

Of course I disagree every time somebody would persuade anyone else that his/her only need is specialization.

Certainly people need to make a career choice when sorting from college, but it is also important to not forget that every human being is a whole.

Similarly during a self-learning process one need sometimes to understand relations between different techniques, methods or concepts, so one need to see the big picture.

If you diversify and enlarge your skills and points of view, you will also earn value and you can ask a higher remuneration.

How-To Avoid The Comparison Trap

“All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything.”


Swami Vivekananda

The first step not to fall in the trap of the comparison is to convince you that a second equal person to you doesn't exist all over the world.

Nobody resembles to you as it regards your feelings, your aspirations and your most secret thoughts.

If you will understand deeply this concept, you will feel the need to ask you for which reason you should inspire you to other people's example to act or not to act.

Our culture is composed from people that forget to be individuals and too very often they feel threatened by whoever is different from them.

In our scholastic classrooms they employ the curves of gauss to decide who is integrated and who is maladjusted.

To measure all the individual characters and to establish so the sacred average they use standardized tools.

Yet, despite all the pressures practiced above of you and despite the continuous solicitations to be "as all the others", you could become never it, even if you applied you with appointment in the attempt.

For how much endeavours you, you will perceive, will think and will always feel your own way, that is a personal way and without comparison.

If you will understand that the motivations on which lean the comparisons of the others, between you and Mr. X, as terms of comparison, they entirely have the tendency to hold under control your behaviour to the purpose to dominate you, you will be already on the good road to escape to this stupid type of arrogance.

Are You Able To Delegate?

"You can delegate authority, but you cannot delegate responsibility."

Byron Dorgan

To develop functions of manager necessarily implicates to delegate to other part of your own power.

How? Which are the advantages to delegate?

To distribute activity, problems and decisions of detail allows having more time to be devoted to the important decisions.

Secondarily with the delegation you activate the process of motivation of your collaborators.

The delegation produces trust and consent.

To their it turns these elements they determine involvement and share and therefore, to psychological level, sense of affiliation and safety.

A person “sure” and involved it will be also more course to develop a notable spirit of initiative, which is translated then in results.

With the attainment of results it will increase the self-esteem and also the esteem of others and the collaborator can actually grow to give the maximum one doing all of this that can do.

You can ask: what is it really the delegation?

It is not simple to give an answer because it is a behavioural formality that leans on oneself own abilities to manage the relationships between different persons.

The based authoritarian management on to give orders and to check that is performed it doesn't ask for some effort of listening and understanding of the interlocutor.

To delegate means to know how to choose among the collaborators who it has the professional and psychological maturity to be delegated to a determined assignment instead.

This everything implies the active listening, the knowledge of the processes of motivation and the ability to build a relationship of mutual trust that involves and protects the whole group of which the leadership is had.

Listening to the collaborators and communicant with them, he becomes also aware of the resources that are necessary to allow them to develop the delegated assignments in the arranged times.

There will be therefore moments negotiate them to define the resources and to ask for her to the other levels of the organization.

Love What You Do

"The best way to make happy money is to make money your hobby and not your god."

Scott Alexander

A lot of people like to work: it likes how much to rest, rarely more.

It doesn't count the type of job, neither the level to which one develops it, neither the entity of the economic remuneration or the place or the schedule:

It matter the composite feeling of creation, share and self-realization that the job returns to whom appreciates it.

It matter the emotion to feel oneself vital, the responsibility to feel productive, the awareness to feel productive.

Anybody relaxation has a good time how much the job lived to three dimensions; any show, any trip, any vacation they compete with the fullness offered by a job done with interest, developed with responsibility, improved with appointment.

The taste of the most beloved hobbies fades away towards the taste of the job, because the hobbies are not anything else other than select jobs to own measure and preference, while the job can be even a compensated hobby.

The Subtle Art Of Disobedience

"Disobedience to be civil implies discipline, thought, care, attention."

Mahatmah Gandhi.

Bureaucracy is perceived by a self-learner as a malfunction of our social life.

A self-learner therefore simply ignores it thanks to his/her own creativeness and intelligence.

Mahatmah Gandhi (which I respect absolutely) he spoke of civil disobedience, today this would not probably be enough.

Why I am talking about bureaucracy? Because it is the worse and more deceitful thievish-of-time that I have ever known.

There are many ways of fight the bureaucracy, but I know one of them infallible: to ignore it.

How? Studying and improving yourself, for example.

Do they steal your time?

You can make then to become more productive, that is to sell you to the best, to increase your self-esteem, to assemble you on what knows how to do better and never stopping thinking to as to improve your personal productivity.

In this way no conflict is created between you and the bureaucracy.

Simply it won't have some power anymore on you!

Bureaucracy increases its own power when it meets city timorous, a little educated, anxious and full of worries.

If feel yourself so, for you there is no salvation!

Bureaucracy is an infernal machine that has been invented from individuals that they don't believe in the abilities of the individual and that they are afraid of everything and everybody.

The bureaucrats are servants one protective caress of theirs, a comfortable cotton wool, and they camp every excuse to work the less possible and way of living behind the citizens that work and they risk for indeed and that they contribute national product.

Yet in all the industrialized nations a bureaucracy exists, in some countries it is stronger and instead the citizen is weaker.

If you go to see in what countries this happens you will realize you that the phenomenon almost always has cultural origins.

In a few words, every culture has the bureaucracy that deserves him.

A self-learner doesn't need to deal himself/herself with the bureaucracy because very simply for him it doesn't exist.

A self-learner can civilly disobey to the bureaucracy, without for this to infringe some law.

How? Informing himself/herself on his/her own rights and to make to be worth them, always and in every occasion.

Enrolling himself/herself in an association for the defence of the consumer rights, participating in public debates, and so on.

But the secret weapon stays your intelligence, remember: the more you are informed and productive, the less will be the power of the bureaucracy on you!

Never accept passively the abuses of the bureaucracy it is a moral duty of every honest citizen, exactly as to pay the taxes and to respect the laws.

Are You Able To Find Out Your Own Motivation?

"Life is your business, and YOU are the boss."

Jules Benson

Are you able to find your own motivations in your career and in your life?

The behavioural and organizational disciplines have devoted and they keep on devoting attention to the needs that people try to satisfy through their job and that are commonly defined as motivations.

It doesn't exist a difference among the types of motivation, but difference exists among instead the people and their sensibility to those motivations.

Some people choose (it doesn't care if aware or unconsciously) to suffer the motivations as a damned obligation or a punishment, they adapt them in such a way conforming to those “quoted by the newspapers” and they pursue them with passive dissatisfaction.

Others choose to pursue only the motivations that cost less work and they are satisfied with the least one of satisfaction of the simplest needs, remaining then in attended that the society offers them “free” the realization of the superior needs.

Others commit themselves finally with energy to the attainment of their objectives, and lives with identical pleasure the realization both of the primary needs and of superior ones.

Today we know that the strength of the motivation is born from the inside of the person and it is inversely influenced by the social context with proportional intensity to the psychic solidity and the intelligence of the individual.

The authentic motivation, free and natural motivation, is an active push toward the attainment of an objective and bonus the subject that test already with the pre-enjoying the destination well before its pursuit.

In the same moment in which is warned, the motivation produces positive and gratifying energy if the objective is perceived as attainable or negative and frustrating energy if the objective is perceived as unattainable.

When the motivation is reached and satisfied it is not distort neither it loses but it constitutes solid base for other objectives and to enrich the self-realization of the individual.

Forgotten that the walk is easy, the walk toward the self-realization is hard and full of obstacles, but it is always worth it, if you are prepared after all to fight until the end.

To Accept The Defeat Is To Win Everytime

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”

Wilma Rudolph

To children that become angry or they despair them for a failure it is said: “You don't know what in the life it needs to know how to lose?

You have to learn to lose if you want to be able to win”. To adults it is not said anymore.

Not because they have learned but because they fear so much to lose that is even avoided to speak about it to exorcize the possibility that this may really happen.

The ability of losing is the professional ability less quoted and more removed.

One theorizes the learning through the error (being wrong is learned) but one doesn't prepare oneself to manage the defeat, the failure, and the non-confirmation.

The culture of guaranties has produced one diffused “syndrome of welfare” for guilt of which the safety in every field is considered due, the opportunities of success they have to be equal for everybody and proper for the tastes of each.

The paths of career become therefore a pretension; the medals in the competitions reach those “of consolation.”

Reality comes so deformed and inverted: if to win is a right, losing becomes an injustice and the equal opportunities they are reduced to equal guarantees.

Horrible boredom, life disguised by reasonableness, elevated depression to way of living; not more fields of game and battle, more tonic stress and tension before a competition and not more to live in slope, to go against the tide and to move before the stakes:

what waits us it is a circular footstep of athletics where the turns are all equal ones and you understand that you have won only if somebody else slap a flag to your side.

It is really the to know to lose that gives taste to the life. It is the defeat that, burning, it doubles the energy.

It is the awareness that every action and every feeling are precious in direct proportion to the in demand appointment to deserve and to defend it that turns people into personality protagonists.

If the defeat is one of the alternatives of the life, the loss it is one of the possibilities of the game, the failure it is the 50% of the result in the job.

Who forgetful this reality will be never the seed that dies for reviving ear, the explorer that also returns back ten times to discover the path that brings to the treasure, neither the boy that has sold newspapers, accumulating hunger and anger enough to work per diem the 18 hours that they will make him from adult a successfully multimillion entrepreneur.

Prevent Yourself From An Excess Of Distrust

“Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.”

William E. Gladstone

Any policeman who is interested in frauds can tell you that it is not enough for a cheat, to found a person that blindly trusts the extraneous ones.

The trick is the consent from the victim, which, in reality, thinks indeed about being able to double his/her own money in one night, to get something in exchange for nothing, and so on.

I am not saying that you need to trust everybody, as children usually do, but rather, that you need to recover just a little of that childish trust that can defend you from the true cheats.

If you think that anyone is looking for his/her own profit and everybody in the world is bloody-minded, you have polluted your instinctive ability to sniff the true scoundrel in the moment in which he/she is in front of you.

The ability to trust himself/herself and also the other ones is in reality a matter of development in his/her own attitude.

If you think that the world is a rotten place and that the most greater part of the people they try to rub you, you will not only have more possibilities to be rubbed by the true cheats, but you will already cheated by yourself because you will be excluded by the contact with all the honest and loyal people around you.

If you allow your childish trust to surface instead and to be able to express a positive feeling, aware of to be able to face any situation, will be really your positive attitude to allow to see things clearly.

Accept Change As a Way Of Life

"The greatest revolution in our generation is that of human beings, who by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."

Marilyn Ferguson

A lot of people fear the changes.

They remain in the same place not because they would not know how to be in a new environment, but because they are afraid really of the change.

Nevertheless you can be certain of a thing: neither us neither the others, remain the same.

The change is the true essence of the life.

If we didn't change, we will stay exactly those that we are.

There would be no growth, neither life, neither death, nothing, if the change didn't constitute the base of our humanity.

What you like or not, the change represents a big part of you.

If you want to possess the fleeing sense of purpose, you will have to learn to cohabit with the whole concept of change, to consider it a friend and not to fear it.

To learn to be happy about a change can represent a big footstep in your life and naturally also in your process of continuous self-improvement.

Toward Self-Honesty

"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."

Henry Louis Mencken

The greatest obstacle to our personal growth is inside us.

It is more exactly the way according to which we think that who prevents often from becoming what we are.

If you want indeed to make giant footsteps, you have sooner or later need to settle up with yourselves and particularly with the auto-honesty.

If you ever asked yourself who you are trying to deceive with your way of thinking and your behaviour checked by the outside and you have concluded that is wrong to pull whoever's leg, because this way you also pull yours leg, then you are on the good road to reach the total self-honesty.

Perhaps you have already succeeded in identifying some of the defences and the falsehoods that you had adopted up to this moment.

If it is so, the next footstep to reach self-honesty doesn't impose you to confess, neither to feel yourself guilty for what you have done in the past.

It is simply necessary to accept the fact that some of your past choices were misleading, then to settle up with such choices, trying day by day to beat them submitting you to your internal signals.

Self-honesty means to get rid oneself of the need to measure one's own value according to the external terms and to observe instead oneself more objectively with the intention to live the way you want to live the present and not to try at any cost "to be as you have always been".

Self-honesty imposes you to testify your strength and your weakness in a much more realistic way, it imposes you to identify the defences that you have erected against the inside signals and it imposes you to work for eliminating them from your every day life.

Know The Leader Inside Yourself

"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."

Peter F. Drucker

Know The Leader Inside Yourself

Let's not limit us to manage, we optimise.

Do you appreciate the others for what they are and do you help them to draw the best from themselves?

The true leader understands the demands, the desires and the limits of his/her collaborators; he/she discovers their values, their convictions and the causes to which they vote;

The true leader helps them to understand what they want and sustains them to undertake the best walk to reach their objectives.

The true leader encourages them to exploit their qualities and he/she is firmly convinced that there is no better occupation than to stimulate a really similar to give the best of itself.

The leaders most involved illustrate histories that stimulate the maximum performances.

When their men know the defeat, they remember them the successes gotten in precedence.

They speak of the struggles, of the conflicts, of the perseverance and of the triumphs of the others.

The optimal leaders don't need to manipulate the other ones trying to convince them to do what it is not in their interest. They push them to act only in their interest.

Do Your Best In Every Situation

"No man can always be right. So the struggle is to do one's best, to keep the brain and conscience clear, never be swayed by unworthy motives or inconsequential reasons, but to strive to unearth the basic factors involved, then do one's duty."

Dwight D.Eisenhower

Dear friend, I perfectly know that there are some moments in the life in which it is not so effortless always to know if you are making the right choice.

Also I have been so many times in this situation.

I had to make a choice between two alternatives and I didn't know what pits the road to be taken.

Of a thing however I have always realized: after a few times from the decision time I always knew if I had taken the correct one or not.

If you are particularly careful and sensitive as enough, you will have realized that we have a whole kind of sixth sense.

Something warns if we are doing well for us and for the world, or there is something that doesn't works.

Something happens, always for example a small accident, a psychological discomfort, and a sense of inexplicable anxiety.

It is easy to liquidate these events as adversity or as simple effects of the case.
I don't know how do you think about it, but I am firmly convinced that the case doesn't exist.

They exist some laws that we don't simply understand.

Someone call them laws of the nature, somebody else calls them divine laws, other again they calls them laws of the big numbers or probability.

The wise men of every culture and every time have always taught that the man possesses a power called free will but at the same time he/she is subject to particular universal laws.

At the end you know what it counts indeed?

To do really one's best, but do it really.

I have always tried to do of my best without worrying me so much about what others may think.

Don't abdicate your desires, if these are in harmony with the universe and if you feel deeply that they are correct, go on and follow your own way firmly.

"Fortuna Audacia Iuvat" (Luck help audacious), ancient Romans said, and they were right.

Then stay serene lives your life, respect yourself, respect the others and also the nature and then always do Your Best!

To Whom You Place Your Life Experiences Responsibility?

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life."

James Allen

Do you take on you full responsibility for what it is your life or do you blame the others?

Do you believe in your right to take on you full responsibility to create your future?

Perhaps since you was a child somebody inculcated in you the conviction that it was precisely your duty to have to first of all help the others and that your objectives and desires were secondary.

For this reason felt you selfish when you think first to yourselves?

You perhaps believe to be able to be happy only if you are in love of someone.

There is nothing bad to be in love, personally I have rather lived several beautiful romantic and sentimental histories, but while I was living her I felt me terribly dependent from the women that I loved.

If you make to depend your happiness on the others, is giving them the power to create you or to destroy you.

Many divorcés (among which also me same, I admit) they have rebelled to this kind of conditioning.

Some people are considered victims of the life.

They are convinced that all of this that happens is out of their control.

Until you won't feel you responsibility to the 100 percent of your life and of your experiences, in the good and in the evil, you won't succeed in moving you of a single step.

This is the first and the hardest obstacle to overcome in the walk of personal growth and self-learning.