How To Overcome That Sense Of Insecurity

“The opposite of security is insecurity, and the only way to overcome insecurity is to take risks.”

Theodore Forstmann

I experimented a feeling of insecurity many times in my early adolescence and especially during the college periods.

Do you know why? Because I had a very caricatured image of myself these days.

I did not really know myself so it was very difficult to build optimal relations with men and women.

The problem with my shyness taken a big part of my first 30 years cause I never feel ready to start successfully relationship both of sentimental and professional type
But there was an exact turning point in my life, exactly when I was forced to speech en public during my Master to present the breefing of my work group.

At this point I decided to play my role and to take my responsibilities until the end of the game.

Making the effort, I realized something good and unexpected was going to originate from my interior.

For the first time in my life I was able to change my caricatured image in a completely different image, an image of successful professional, an image of successful man, able to communicate well to the others and also I was finally well appreciated.

That was the first time I had to admit to myself that our potential is like a one hundred levels skyscraper of which we have decided to only live the first floor, while the 99 others are still not liveable!

Obviously this is a metaphor to say that many times we prefer not to take any risk and then to rest into our mediocrity.

It does not matter if the first time we feel clumsy and ungainly, this is normal, but more important thing is to put our effort on and to take some risks!

This simple act is an extraordinary gesture; it can really make the difference in our lives!

So take you risk and go! That sense of insecurity will vanish soon!

Time Is Not Always Related To Money

"Time is neutral and does not change things. With courage and initiative, leaders change things."

Jesse Jackson

Time is money. Right? Wrong!

Time is money only if you have opportunities, knowledge and correct thoughts, otherwise nothing cannot be done!

There are people that have a lot of time but they don't have money, for example the prisoners.

There are rich people with so much leisure time to their disposition, but don't know what to do! They annoy!

There are then very worn-out people, who never have time for anybody neither for them, same, and unbelievable but true, they don't have enough money or they would like more always of it.

Why there are so many differences in the way according to which the live have people, do you have ever thought about this?

It is evident that time = money is not a correct equation, if not in very approximate way.

What does it miss? The thoughts. The way according to which we use our mind is fundamental.

Thousand times I proved this to myself, at first hand!

That's why I insist so much on the thoughts. Without the mastery of the own thoughts there is no real personal growth, even if you read all the books of the world.

If you want to improve yourself not only you need more knowledge to acquire, but also you will have above all to integrate it with your thoughts and your beliefs, before putting new knowledge in practice!

How To Face Toward Your Fears

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."

Pope John XXIII

If you knew to be able to face any situation, would you have something to fear?

Obviously no.

The fear is the technique used by the nature to prepare to defend you to you from the danger.

You dread when you anticipate a loss or a pain.

You are afraid of what you believe must be fears.

But if you have trust in your ability to face every situation, here that automatically you minimize the fear.

Your safety not comes from what you have, but from knowing to be able to face any eventualities.

You can begin to minimize your fears facing them.

Once established of which you are afraid, therefore you act in the best way to eliminate the threats that your fears provoke.

To act on the fear is much better than living feeling oneself incapable and impotent.
The main four fears that sabotage your ability to use the optimal thought are: the fear of the failure, of the refusal, of the success and of the pain.

Remember: to act and to face toward your fears is the only way to dissipate them.

How A Positive Thinker Looks On Negative Factors

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong...Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Cars are furnished of "negative indicators" sets really in front of the driver to tell him when the battery doesn't load, when the motor is heating too much, when the pressure of the oil is too much low, and so on.

To ignore these negative indicators can ruin your auto, nevertheless there is no necessity to excessively be stunned if someone of these negative signals ignites: you don't have to do anything else other than to stop you at a station of service or at a garage, and to set remedy to the drawbacks.

A negative signal doesn't mean but the car it is not good; all the autos heat too much sometimes.

This despite the driver of the car doesn't continually owe and exclusively to be careful to the dashboard: this could be disastrous.

He/she has to stop his/her attention on the windscreen, he/she has to look where he/she is going and above all has to watch out for his/her destination, to where he/she wants to go.

He/she simply has to give every now and then a look to the negative indicators and when him ago, no it has to settle neither to delay on them.

He/she quickly has to look again in front of itself and to focus himself/herself on his/her positive purpose and that is on the where he/she wants to go.

Auto-observation a precious tool

"It is the theory that decides what can be observed."

Albert Einstein

The only ways through which someone can help you it is call into question your ideas.

If you are ready to listen and if you are ready to be called into question, something you can do, but nobody can help you.

Which are the most important things in absolute? It is auto-observation.

Nobody can give you a hand, in this. Nobody can furnish you a method. Nobody can show you a technique.

In the moment in which a technique is learned, you again become programmed.

But the auto-observation - that is to look at him same - it is important.

It doesn't mean to be absorbed in his/her own thoughts to be worry of oneself.

It is not of this that I am talking about: I am talking about the auto-observation. But what is it really?

It means to observe all of this that is inside us and around us, up to the most extreme point, and to observe as if it happened to somebody else.

In other words this means that is not personalized that that it happens us, it means to look at the things as if some bond was not had with them.

In this way you will have reached a great ability of "separation" from your anxieties and from your worries and this give you the power not to identify you with them.

The Importance Of To Be Proud Of Your Work

From "The Prophet" [Kahlil Gibran]:

"Then a ploughman said, Speak to us of Work. And he answered, saying: You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, and to step out of life's procession that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite...
Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life's inmost secret."


Dear friend, I have to confess you that these wonderful words of one of the most respected poets and philosophers of last century, Kahlil Gibran, they have always impressed my mind.

I would only to point out the importance to be proud of our work, whenever intellectual or manual.

If you do your job every day with a great sense of responsibility and passion and if you really love it then you will receive soon or later a great deal in return, I assure you!

But, if you do not like your job, if you are not comfortable with it, then I strongly suggest you to change it as soon as possible.

It is well worth the trouble, why? Because work is what makes you feel good with the rest of the universe!

Too often we think that a job is a job, and does not matter what job we do, because the only raison is to make a living, to survive.

I disagree with this way of seeing, because I think there is always something deeper inside all things and especially in what we do every day.

It does not matter if you are a factory worker or if you are the president of the United States: you are both human beings and the humans need to feel joined themselves to the earth since time immemorial.

Technology and Science development and these so stressful modern rhythms to which we all are devoted nowadays they should not make ourselves unaware of our origin.

So be proud of your work! It will make you a better person in the long run!

The Power Of Imagination

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

Jamie Paolinetti

I have always believed in the hidden powers of our mind, long before reading and study on the books the things that were already inside of me.

I have observed for a long time the behaviour of a lot of people, included my father who was an authoritarian and paternalistic person.

Many of us don't realize but the thoughts crossing our mind every day they are to a large extent the fruit of our attitudes and the deepest convictions that we have brought within us for a long time.

It is unbelievable as in the societies of the richest countries and industrialized of this planet a so perfect and punctual control is made on the mechanisms that produce money and material wealth, but the most part of us are never thought about the power of our thoughts.

What I have known is always that one of the greatest powers that every human being has to his/her disposition is just the imagination.

Imagination is what we project to the outside, in the real world, beginning from our subconscious.

But attention! A positive imagination and a negative it exists, or better, a destructive and a constructive one.

The imagination, on my opinion, is autosuggestion.

In the most negative people and more absolutists that I ever known this power was always employed in a destructive way and do you know how?

Not admitting that there could be other interpretations of the facts and the reality.

The negative people are only victims of their imagination, which is used against themselves, instead that to them favour.

The psycho-cybernetics of Dr. Maxwell Maltz and the positive thinking of Dr. J. Murphy, is absolutely right!

In my infancy I have always been conditioned to think of a destructive way.

My greater problem was the insecurity and shyness.

I was afraid of the others, above all not to feel at the same level with the others and especially with the individuals of female sex.

During my life I have not only learned to report me with the women, but I have learned to speak in public and to become even an advisor and a business educator!

Do you know how I have succeeded in doing that? With the imagination! Right!

Our mind needs to imagine a situation of success before being able to experiment it, there is not simply other way!

From the moment that it is very more comfort to let us condition from the negative thoughts that limit us, why then not to make a small effort and try to replace the negative suggestions with positive ones?

It is necessary to firmly believe to be able to do it, if you don't believe you have already surrendered and therefore you have not given yourself other possibilities; in other words you are what you have decided, not surely anybody else or the bad fate!

Why To Not Be In A Hurry Is An Advantage

"Whoever is in a hurry shows that the thing he is about is too big for him."

Lord Chesterfield

Here are the most common errors who make which is in a hurry:

- To have too little respect of his/her own time and too much of other people's time.

- To think about having to always compete with everybody and anywhere

- To be terrorized to owe him to stop and have to "to think"

- To misunderstand the phrase "time is money"

- To always worry himself/herself about to have "to impress" the others

- To think only of quantitative terms

- Not to have a clear vision of his/her own life and his/her own role

- To do things in a hurry is comfortable because it represents an alibi

- To be in hurry is cool and trendy and it makes you feel an important person

Here instead because not to be in a hurry according to me represents an advantage:

- If you are not in a hurry, you have very more time to think and to reflect

- Do not be afraid to think and to reflect, it won't happen you nothing!

- If you have the time to think and to reflect is much more difficult that you could be manipulated by the others

- If you are not in a hurry you have the time to think outside the box

- If you are not in a hurry it is likely you know how to give the right value to your time and overall to the others one

- If you are not in a hurry it means that you think before acting and therefore you know what you do

- If you are not in a hurry you have more time to be devoted to yourself and your personal improvement

- If you are not in a hurry you are the owner of your life and you perfectly know your objectives

- If you are not in a hurry you have understood that you know to be worth and above all you don't need to show it to anybody else!

Toward The Gross National Wellness

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if
this is all there is.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

In every human activity it is necessary by now to knowingly insert this new dimension through the study of the behaviour and the conditions that regulate it.

In this way it becomes possible to foresee more efficiently what consequences a decision may have in terms of tonnage, of size, of capacity, and also in terms of human behaviours.

And it becomes so possible to aim to what certain economists nebulously define still the GNW (the Gross National Wellness), in substitution of the GNP (Gross National Product).

Taking as point of aim the auto-affirmation you may realize in fact that there are many ways to realize certain basic demands of every man.

Moreover we also can realize that they can also be realized with techniques that involve the use of less wealth and less raw materials.

The main point is to establish a good psychological prizes-punishments-system.
If one succeeds in getting a mechanism that works it is possible to get the tallest index of happiness, also with some mended pantaloons or with some old compact cars, without provoking deprivations.

With this strategy it is possible to effectively direct toward new values the human, both individual and collective behaviours.

On the other hand citizens they owe to realize that they are very often spiced through conditionings that does not correspond to their true interest.

Only the knowledge of the technologies of the behaviour allows them to discover the trick, and to prevent that the great principles of liberty, justice, equality, brotherhood is used by some alone as traps to catch the simpletons.

If the objective of a true democracy is that to give to every individual the dignity, the happiness, the parity with the others, the ability to understand the world in which alive, to participate in the decisions that concern it, and to express its difference, then it is necessary to study and to predispose not only the material context, but also the mental one, in which to achieve.

Individuality Is Your Inviolable Divine Right

"Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true."

Buddha

The Need to create your own individuality is an instinct that is verified in every aspect of the life.

In the societies in which such instinct is denied, societies directed to the conditioning of the people, as it regards the aspect, the way of dressing, to think, because all owe act in the same way, it increases the sense of discomfort, of boredom, of apathy.

Individuality is not something that is wanted to simply express for play.

Your highest necessities are not those that try to impose you a green bow on the nose, so that to be able to show to the others that you are of the original ones or of the characters.

Individuality comes by chance instead, in the moment in which you try to find the better way to behave you: in to dress, in to cook, in to speak, in to think, in to play to sweater, or if you decide to paint a picture.

Nevertheless, in a person, who has no limits, the individuality in its whole is cultivated when the internal signals respect him above those outside.

The external signals try to extinguish the fundamental human right to the individuality: they try to force the individual to paint in the same way according to which the others paints, to exactly answer to a question as they would make the other classmates to bring the hat tilted in the same way of the others.

In my life I have discovered that so many people have appreciated my individuality, that is the particular way according to which I decide to do something.

These people appreciated equally their individuality, while those that my individuality has condemned, tried to diminish it without ever succeeding.

Personally I do me a beautiful laughter when this happens and I am really worried for their ignorance.

Remember, dear friend! Nobody on this earth is identical to anyone else!

Your duty is only that to be faithful to yourself and to anyone else and to develop your potential as human being.

If you don't believe in this you will be always a puppet in the hands of somebody else.

To Overreact Is the Key of Inhibition

“The excessive increase of anything causes a reaction in the opposite direction”

Plato

The science of Cybernetics has offered us a new way to understand the inhibit personality, and has shown also the way to free us of it, to become again free and to remove our spirit from the imprisonment in which we had forced deliberately.

The negative reaction in a servo system is equivalent to critical spirit, and it tells us in effects: "You have been wrong, you have taken the wrong course, you have to undertake a corrective action to return on the correct direction."

The purpose of the negative reaction, nevertheless, is to modify the answer, to modify the course of a progressive action, not to stop it completely.

If the negative reaction works as it owes, a missile or a torpedo react to the "critics" in such measure to be corrected the rout continuing to advance toward the target.

Nevertheless if these mechanisms are too much sensitive to negative reactions, the servo system moves them beyond the limit and instead of progressing toward the target they will perform too much side moves or they will stop entirely every further footstep in before.

Our innate servo system works equally in our mind.

We have to have negative reactions to positively act, to direct our walk or to be driven toward a purpose.

The Power Of A Deep Want

“The desire to know is natural to good men.”

Leonardo da Vinci

To succeed indeed to change opinions and behaviours, the rational thought has to be joint to a depth feeling and to an intense desire.

Make you an imagine of what you would like to be and of what you would like to have, start from the presumption that such things are achievable and you make to rise in you a depth desire for them, with great enthusiasm.

Gather your attention on them and you keep on thinking them.

Your actual negative opinions are formed through the thought and through the feelings.

You now try to make to raise in you a depth desire and you will see your thoughts and your new ideas replacing the old ones.

If you proceed to such analysis you will see that you are applying a method that you employed also in the past: the interest and the worry.

The only difference is that you have changed your purposes from negative to positive.

When you worry about something the first thing that you do it is to vividly imagine an undesirable future event without making some effort and without applying your wish.

Your attention has always centralized on the final result; you keep on intensely thinking of you, starting to think to it as a possibility.

You play with the idea that this could really happen.

This constant repetition and to think in terms of possibility makes you appear more and more the real final result.

The suitable emotions will automatically rise.

The power of a deep want can really produce miracles! It works!

Social Conditioning And Self-Improvement Need

"Basically the school system sets you up with what it wants to set you up with. They're really good at it. I think they're too good. Problem is, what they're doing is conditioning kids to merely accept the culture at hand. But the rebels won't accept it."

Jack Bowman

We all know how much is difficult - in the career and in the life - to find a perfect equilibrium among oneself legitimate aspirations toward self-improvement and outside consent and the social acceptance.

Dear friend, if you have gotten used to think as a yes-man, my words they won't serve a lot to you.

But if you believe instead that to have personal aspirations and above all that it is your birthright to find the time to develop your potential, then I have a lot to tell you.

Personally I have never given any importance to the votes during the school, nor to the degrees, nor to the hierarchies, nor to the medals and the various systems prize-punishment what that are so nested in our society.

Some like those of the authoritarian systems are very evident, others, very more deceitful and subtle, they hide them in the publicity and in the need of social approval.

If you think about the career as to a succession of steps to conquer and where the level of prestige and consent of every step is default and measurable, then you won't have a lot of space for an authentic self-improvement.

If we measure our success in our career and in our life in base to what others have established, we can never know what really means personal growth is.

Personal growth is not a medal, neither a social position, neither a reward in money.

Personal growth is a continuous trial, it doesn't have any destination or particular objective, if not that to live more happily the possible and in peace with him same.

As they sustain the gurus of the positive thought, money is a form of energy that naturally achieves and without effort to whom feels illuminated and inspired in all of this that ago.

I understand that this will seem you difficult to accept, but I am able to confirm that this is true because I have experimented it many times at first hand.

To overcome the social conditioning and to try to be the more possible independent from the various systems prize-punishment, to think with your head, to accept the fact that cannot be nice to all those that you meet, is everybody signals that go to the correct direction.

The correct direction is what makes you feel well, in peace with your conscience, and that give you in every moment of your day the precise awareness that you are doing of your best.

The greatest prize is the conquest of your personal independence and the ability to approve yourself without any outward confirmation.

This objective is not incompatible with the family or with the society.

Contrarily, self-realized people are very often really those that have more success both in the job and in the affective relationships.

Do Not Abdicate Your Dreams, Never!

"Pay attention to your dreams - God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep."

Eileen Elias Freeman

A lot of people, dissatisfied of their profession, they don't simply dare to make this jump.

They are enslaved of a self-destructive thought that consists of finding an apparent safety: "If I stay where I am, cannot happen anything.

If however I leave my nest, in truth tightened and uncomfortable, but warm, may happen some terrible things."

The dreadful things happen really if you remain, not if you go.

Aggressive, envious, stiffened, you are firm, while it would be being this way effortless to detach the flight.

If you believe to do it, you will do it. The man is what he thinks.

If you think of being a person of success, you are.

You only have perhaps a dark feeling of dissatisfaction of yours profession, however don't know yet whether to do instead.

Don't try to resolve the problem making to come you the headache and don't listen too much to the suggestion of the others.

The other ones have their own reasons why they would see you gladly in this or that profession, but this doesn't mean yet that it would be also really the right one for you.

You are not here for being as the others want to have you!

If you are confused and you don't know in what direction you have to go, listen to your intuition.

The best method is to relieve at first yourself with physical exercises then to meditate entirely relaxed.

In the meditative self-contemplation the ability develops him to realize and it is mediator of miracles.

Say yourself: "I believe in the miracles, because I am realist."

It makes to come to the surface what you have already known for a long time deeply inside you.

You have only to penetrate in your conscience.

Look at your dreams, they gives some precious information.

Who says not to be able to remember his/her own dreams he/she is saying no to be in contact with his/her inner life.

If you want to preserve your dreams, you can do it.

Have trust in yourself and you will find a marvellous solution, perfect and then you will say: natural, that is!

Why I had not arrived before there?

Best Way To Dissipate Negative Feelings

“The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into action”

Madame de Stael

It is in your interest to decide whether to immediately express the negative feelings or if to hold back them up to when you won't have understood them and you will have studied the best way to resolve them.

Many ways exist for resolving emotions that upset.

You could like to meditate, to write a letter or to talk to the involved person.

You can wonder: What alternatives I have? Which is the best way to face this feeling? Which is the best way for they dissipate? Which is the most constructive action that I can undertake for getting what I want?

Anxiety can for example, be eliminated removing the threat that provokes it.

A lot of people constitute a threat for themselves focusing habitually themselves on negative possibility.

You can reduce to the least one instead the anxiety setting you questions that stimulate a solution.

Assemble you on the best way to get what you want.

Ask you: What I am afraid to lose? Which is the best thing that I can do for preventing the loss and to minimize the pain? Which is the most proper way to reach what I want?

When it speaks of anger, it is in your interest to directly express your pain to the involved person.

Explain you her because you are angry. You specify as his/her behaviour as provoked your anger and you express the desire to find the best solution for everybody.

You begin saying: When you behave you so, I am angry and you hurt me because... Which is the best way to resolve the problem?

Remember: only you have the power to transform negative feelings in action!

This is the best way to go and in the same time the best way to affirm us.

How Education Affects People Behaviour (Second Part)

"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you."

B.B. King

We have discovered in the first part that the principal function of the knowledge is the survival of the individual.

However today we forget an important fact: both space and time contraction makes the environment in which the individual has to adapt changing continuously.

The education should precede the changes with the same speed and, accordingly, to prepare above all the individuals from a cultural point of view.

This should be true both regarding knowledge and values.

Instead this doesn't happen, and there is by now an increasing asynchrony between the technological development and the culture.

Being a modern man today it means above all to understand the relationships among the things, really because it is this type of education that allows to interpret better the reality in which we lives.

The individual behaviour is exclusively influenced by the models of consumption and not from a solid preparation, both from a scientific and from an economic point of view.

It is true that the access to the information and to knowledge is much more available that in the past and it is to disposition of everybody, thanks also to the Internet.

Nevertheless the role of the formal education is clearly insufficient to prepare the people, for this it makes him necessary to resort to the auto-formation.

Only resorting to the auto-formation and to continuing education the individual can hope to fill this gap and to live as a protagonist the new millennium.

You treats therefore to go over the survival, deals with understanding the challenges that attend us, above all that energetic, and to gather all the opportunities of career and personal improvement, that are in front of us.

How Education Affects People Behaviour (First Part)

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."

Albert Einstein

Which is the purpose of the education? There are many answers to a similar question.

There is one of them, however, that seems essential to me: the education first of all has to allow the adaptation of an individual (and of a society) to its environment.

It has to be a tool of survival.

It was always state so, during the history of the humanity: the things that a generation handed down to the other one were the fruit of the preceding experiences.

These were destined to resolve better the daily problems both as it regarded the ability to go to hunting or to build a shelter.

The knowledge that was handed down could concern besides the respect of certain rules of behaviour towards the other members of the group, with the purpose to maintain the cohesion among the individuals.

The cohesion was necessary for the survival of the single ones.

Already in the most primitive associative forms they are glimpse, in short, those that are undoubtedly the two fundamental aspects of the education: the knowledge and the values.

The knowledge of the problems and the way of resolving them, for example the ability to build and to use a lance or that to build and to use a computer and the values to suit oneself to the environment.

Arsenals of models of behaviour (encoded in the ethics, in the traditions, in the laws) protect the survival of the individual through that of his/her group of affiliation.

The education has always had this fundamental function of survival and it continuous to have also nowadays.

Do Not Regard Yourself Behind Anybody

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world."

Buddha

If you are really definite to operate from today in the future departing from a position of strength, you first of all stop considering you inferior to the others on the plan of the natural dignity of the human person.

And above all let No One Look Down On You.

After all it is known that the people that "they are really worth" treat theirs similar, without making distinctions of titles and social status, with that politeness that one define "humanity."

You remember that the «important people» with which you may treat, as officials of bank, lawyers, medical or whoever you want, that probably you consider "many steps on top" of you, they are only your partners in a business relationship and that as you need them, they needs you.

A business relationship in which you are both "contracting parts" is established also with the public officials to whom you address to create a file.

They don't make you a "favour" to free title, although they often seem comply only with you.

You should be aware that you employ them indirectly with taxes.

Moreover, try to avoid that "Oh! Poor Me" attitude because this way you impliedly allow other to look down on you, even if they are not aware of this.

Your daily attitude and the way you regard yourself is much more important than you have ever thought!

Persons Worth Much More Than Things

"Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value"

Albert Einstein

Sometimes it is unavoidable to underline with strength the concept that people are infinitely worth more than things.

If you were by chance among those people that attribute a very greater importance to the acquisition of the material good of how much they attribute to the life humanly lived of it, to begin from theirs, you would make you enslaved, and therefore victims, of the things, or of the money, or than it generally happens you.

The people directed of preference toward the possession find a lot of difficulties in the relationships with theirs similar.

They don't know how to speak «with» the others; they speak «to the» others, to give orders and to control them and to manipulate them, in a word, to serve them to his/her own goals.

But the fact is that people who try to turn them into his/her own slaves on the emotional plan bother many: they prefer to keep away from the potential exploiter.

The exploiter then realize he/she is checked by his/her victims and consequently he/she bring himself/herself toward the possession of things, so he/she ends with to be closed in a vicious circle from which he/she is not able anymore to go out.

But things are sterile, incapable of feelings.

He/she doesn't succeed in establishing with them a relationship of understanding and affection mutual and all of this that draws from the frantic yearning to assure them to him reduces him to the loneliness and the frustration.

What counts really to the world are human beings and all of this that alive.

You won't have possibility of joy if life will miss around you that will share and that in turn it will make you feel alive.

If you realize you to sacrifice your life of relationship to the pursuit of the material wealth, of the money, of the prestige, ask you what you would draw in last analysis of it.

If you didn't have anybody anymore to love and nobody that repays you of love, would end with the losing every taste to the life and then all the good accumulated with so much fury would be emptied also of every value to your eyes.

Learn To Move Around Difficulties

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."

Albert Einstein:

The beta bench on which you will show if you are able of to be creative you will find not it in the normal carrying out of the daily life, on the contrary, every time that you will have to face some unexpected difficulties.

It often seems more convenient, over how easier, to lift flag of truce and to surrender oneself, but in reality the surrender is always behaviour self-destructive, because he becomes victims of the disappointment and the bitterness that it draws.

Who refuses to passively accept the so-called 'misfortune', it will overcome better not only the counterblows of it, but he/she will often succeed in drawing something good from what seemed an irreparable evil.

In such cases the keystone of your attitude will have to be the promptness in to realize the advantages that you could draw from the circumstance, for ill-omened that is, and the ability to roll up your sleeves to grab the favourable occasions as soon as they happen.

And even in the case that you didn't even perceive the shade of it will suit you to maintain a positive attitude, so that pessimism doesn't make you veil preventing some potential advantage to glimpse you.

When we were children none of us it suspected, even distantly, that life could be a game in which the papers are mixed badly and for this we knew how to revolve the difficulties, we were experienced in to upset the medal discovering that the other face was not then so much evil.

Did a sudden snowfall mess up a project to which we held so much?

And we, overcome the first disappointment, we found our proper pleasure in the incident that had been the cause of it and we had a good time making the snowmen, to engage a battle to balls of snow with the companions and we perhaps saw us happen even the unexpected gift of a day of vacation.

We didn't find the time of feel distressed, in other words, because we were able of to live creatively every moment of the life.

For this same ability we knew how to turn the greyness of a scholastic classroom during the most boring of the lessons into a tolerable place contriving extemporaneous diversions and also finding motive for fun in the most insipid things in itself, because we possessed the natural propensity to creatively live, or rather to make to work the imagination in all the circumstances.

The Importance To Live Creatively

“The crucial variable in the process of turning knowledge into value is creativity.”

John Kao

What it means to live creatively?

I do not refer my self to a particular artistic field or to the ability to bring new contributions in some cultural field.

In our context creativeness doesn't have anything to do with the music, the literature, with the figurative arts, with the sciences or with other disciplines.

It simply points out the inherent potential ability in every human being to develop any job and to live every situation really.

Live creatively means to not need to follow rigidly prefabricated schemes and to rely on oneself instead of following the instructions of a manual or to address to others.

The definite person is convinced to "make the grade" and not to become victim of something or someone.

He/she always acts in really, in every circumstance, trying to draw the good possible party from every given situations in the life.

To live creatively means to look around, in any environment is found there, and to wonder: "As I could draw a positive experience of it?

What could I say, to do, to think or to try so that to draw a teaching of it and to internally enrich me?"

And this will have to become also your attitude, you have enough to suffer everything as passive subjects and depressed.

Diversify Your Skills Improves Your Value

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

Charles Darwin

One of the most important things I learned in my life is not to put all my eggs in one basket.

I am talking about skill and learning. Having a lot of interest in different domains and matters sure it helped me.

My interdisciplinary competencies always allowed me to deal with complex tasks and as a consequence I was well paid.

What I often noticed is the lack of interaction not only among the professionals in career terms, but also in generally, among people, in life terms.

This is especially true when people are talking about and discuss a hard subject.

Everyone is an expert in something but one is in troubles when has to communicate with others.

It seem a special kind of post-industrial new "Tower of Babel" where anyone is able to talk to anyone else.

I personally think is very important for everyone to know how to see the big picture.

Our formal education is obsessed by the idea of specialization and fragmentation.

The result is that the individual general knowledge is too fragmented and to divided

Of course I disagree every time somebody would persuade anyone else that his/her only need is specialization.

Certainly people need to make a career choice when sorting from college, but it is also important to not forget that every human being is a whole.

Similarly during a self-learning process one need sometimes to understand relations between different techniques, methods or concepts, so one need to see the big picture.

If you diversify and enlarge your skills and points of view, you will also earn value and you can ask a higher remuneration.

How-To Avoid The Comparison Trap

“All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything.”


Swami Vivekananda

The first step not to fall in the trap of the comparison is to convince you that a second equal person to you doesn't exist all over the world.

Nobody resembles to you as it regards your feelings, your aspirations and your most secret thoughts.

If you will understand deeply this concept, you will feel the need to ask you for which reason you should inspire you to other people's example to act or not to act.

Our culture is composed from people that forget to be individuals and too very often they feel threatened by whoever is different from them.

In our scholastic classrooms they employ the curves of gauss to decide who is integrated and who is maladjusted.

To measure all the individual characters and to establish so the sacred average they use standardized tools.

Yet, despite all the pressures practiced above of you and despite the continuous solicitations to be "as all the others", you could become never it, even if you applied you with appointment in the attempt.

For how much endeavours you, you will perceive, will think and will always feel your own way, that is a personal way and without comparison.

If you will understand that the motivations on which lean the comparisons of the others, between you and Mr. X, as terms of comparison, they entirely have the tendency to hold under control your behaviour to the purpose to dominate you, you will be already on the good road to escape to this stupid type of arrogance.

Are You Able To Delegate?

"You can delegate authority, but you cannot delegate responsibility."

Byron Dorgan

To develop functions of manager necessarily implicates to delegate to other part of your own power.

How? Which are the advantages to delegate?

To distribute activity, problems and decisions of detail allows having more time to be devoted to the important decisions.

Secondarily with the delegation you activate the process of motivation of your collaborators.

The delegation produces trust and consent.

To their it turns these elements they determine involvement and share and therefore, to psychological level, sense of affiliation and safety.

A person “sure” and involved it will be also more course to develop a notable spirit of initiative, which is translated then in results.

With the attainment of results it will increase the self-esteem and also the esteem of others and the collaborator can actually grow to give the maximum one doing all of this that can do.

You can ask: what is it really the delegation?

It is not simple to give an answer because it is a behavioural formality that leans on oneself own abilities to manage the relationships between different persons.

The based authoritarian management on to give orders and to check that is performed it doesn't ask for some effort of listening and understanding of the interlocutor.

To delegate means to know how to choose among the collaborators who it has the professional and psychological maturity to be delegated to a determined assignment instead.

This everything implies the active listening, the knowledge of the processes of motivation and the ability to build a relationship of mutual trust that involves and protects the whole group of which the leadership is had.

Listening to the collaborators and communicant with them, he becomes also aware of the resources that are necessary to allow them to develop the delegated assignments in the arranged times.

There will be therefore moments negotiate them to define the resources and to ask for her to the other levels of the organization.

Love What You Do

"The best way to make happy money is to make money your hobby and not your god."

Scott Alexander

A lot of people like to work: it likes how much to rest, rarely more.

It doesn't count the type of job, neither the level to which one develops it, neither the entity of the economic remuneration or the place or the schedule:

It matter the composite feeling of creation, share and self-realization that the job returns to whom appreciates it.

It matter the emotion to feel oneself vital, the responsibility to feel productive, the awareness to feel productive.

Anybody relaxation has a good time how much the job lived to three dimensions; any show, any trip, any vacation they compete with the fullness offered by a job done with interest, developed with responsibility, improved with appointment.

The taste of the most beloved hobbies fades away towards the taste of the job, because the hobbies are not anything else other than select jobs to own measure and preference, while the job can be even a compensated hobby.

The Subtle Art Of Disobedience

"Disobedience to be civil implies discipline, thought, care, attention."

Mahatmah Gandhi.

Bureaucracy is perceived by a self-learner as a malfunction of our social life.

A self-learner therefore simply ignores it thanks to his/her own creativeness and intelligence.

Mahatmah Gandhi (which I respect absolutely) he spoke of civil disobedience, today this would not probably be enough.

Why I am talking about bureaucracy? Because it is the worse and more deceitful thievish-of-time that I have ever known.

There are many ways of fight the bureaucracy, but I know one of them infallible: to ignore it.

How? Studying and improving yourself, for example.

Do they steal your time?

You can make then to become more productive, that is to sell you to the best, to increase your self-esteem, to assemble you on what knows how to do better and never stopping thinking to as to improve your personal productivity.

In this way no conflict is created between you and the bureaucracy.

Simply it won't have some power anymore on you!

Bureaucracy increases its own power when it meets city timorous, a little educated, anxious and full of worries.

If feel yourself so, for you there is no salvation!

Bureaucracy is an infernal machine that has been invented from individuals that they don't believe in the abilities of the individual and that they are afraid of everything and everybody.

The bureaucrats are servants one protective caress of theirs, a comfortable cotton wool, and they camp every excuse to work the less possible and way of living behind the citizens that work and they risk for indeed and that they contribute national product.

Yet in all the industrialized nations a bureaucracy exists, in some countries it is stronger and instead the citizen is weaker.

If you go to see in what countries this happens you will realize you that the phenomenon almost always has cultural origins.

In a few words, every culture has the bureaucracy that deserves him.

A self-learner doesn't need to deal himself/herself with the bureaucracy because very simply for him it doesn't exist.

A self-learner can civilly disobey to the bureaucracy, without for this to infringe some law.

How? Informing himself/herself on his/her own rights and to make to be worth them, always and in every occasion.

Enrolling himself/herself in an association for the defence of the consumer rights, participating in public debates, and so on.

But the secret weapon stays your intelligence, remember: the more you are informed and productive, the less will be the power of the bureaucracy on you!

Never accept passively the abuses of the bureaucracy it is a moral duty of every honest citizen, exactly as to pay the taxes and to respect the laws.

Are You Able To Find Out Your Own Motivation?

"Life is your business, and YOU are the boss."

Jules Benson

Are you able to find your own motivations in your career and in your life?

The behavioural and organizational disciplines have devoted and they keep on devoting attention to the needs that people try to satisfy through their job and that are commonly defined as motivations.

It doesn't exist a difference among the types of motivation, but difference exists among instead the people and their sensibility to those motivations.

Some people choose (it doesn't care if aware or unconsciously) to suffer the motivations as a damned obligation or a punishment, they adapt them in such a way conforming to those “quoted by the newspapers” and they pursue them with passive dissatisfaction.

Others choose to pursue only the motivations that cost less work and they are satisfied with the least one of satisfaction of the simplest needs, remaining then in attended that the society offers them “free” the realization of the superior needs.

Others commit themselves finally with energy to the attainment of their objectives, and lives with identical pleasure the realization both of the primary needs and of superior ones.

Today we know that the strength of the motivation is born from the inside of the person and it is inversely influenced by the social context with proportional intensity to the psychic solidity and the intelligence of the individual.

The authentic motivation, free and natural motivation, is an active push toward the attainment of an objective and bonus the subject that test already with the pre-enjoying the destination well before its pursuit.

In the same moment in which is warned, the motivation produces positive and gratifying energy if the objective is perceived as attainable or negative and frustrating energy if the objective is perceived as unattainable.

When the motivation is reached and satisfied it is not distort neither it loses but it constitutes solid base for other objectives and to enrich the self-realization of the individual.

Forgotten that the walk is easy, the walk toward the self-realization is hard and full of obstacles, but it is always worth it, if you are prepared after all to fight until the end.

To Accept The Defeat Is To Win Everytime

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”

Wilma Rudolph

To children that become angry or they despair them for a failure it is said: “You don't know what in the life it needs to know how to lose?

You have to learn to lose if you want to be able to win”. To adults it is not said anymore.

Not because they have learned but because they fear so much to lose that is even avoided to speak about it to exorcize the possibility that this may really happen.

The ability of losing is the professional ability less quoted and more removed.

One theorizes the learning through the error (being wrong is learned) but one doesn't prepare oneself to manage the defeat, the failure, and the non-confirmation.

The culture of guaranties has produced one diffused “syndrome of welfare” for guilt of which the safety in every field is considered due, the opportunities of success they have to be equal for everybody and proper for the tastes of each.

The paths of career become therefore a pretension; the medals in the competitions reach those “of consolation.”

Reality comes so deformed and inverted: if to win is a right, losing becomes an injustice and the equal opportunities they are reduced to equal guarantees.

Horrible boredom, life disguised by reasonableness, elevated depression to way of living; not more fields of game and battle, more tonic stress and tension before a competition and not more to live in slope, to go against the tide and to move before the stakes:

what waits us it is a circular footstep of athletics where the turns are all equal ones and you understand that you have won only if somebody else slap a flag to your side.

It is really the to know to lose that gives taste to the life. It is the defeat that, burning, it doubles the energy.

It is the awareness that every action and every feeling are precious in direct proportion to the in demand appointment to deserve and to defend it that turns people into personality protagonists.

If the defeat is one of the alternatives of the life, the loss it is one of the possibilities of the game, the failure it is the 50% of the result in the job.

Who forgetful this reality will be never the seed that dies for reviving ear, the explorer that also returns back ten times to discover the path that brings to the treasure, neither the boy that has sold newspapers, accumulating hunger and anger enough to work per diem the 18 hours that they will make him from adult a successfully multimillion entrepreneur.

Prevent Yourself From An Excess Of Distrust

“Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.”

William E. Gladstone

Any policeman who is interested in frauds can tell you that it is not enough for a cheat, to found a person that blindly trusts the extraneous ones.

The trick is the consent from the victim, which, in reality, thinks indeed about being able to double his/her own money in one night, to get something in exchange for nothing, and so on.

I am not saying that you need to trust everybody, as children usually do, but rather, that you need to recover just a little of that childish trust that can defend you from the true cheats.

If you think that anyone is looking for his/her own profit and everybody in the world is bloody-minded, you have polluted your instinctive ability to sniff the true scoundrel in the moment in which he/she is in front of you.

The ability to trust himself/herself and also the other ones is in reality a matter of development in his/her own attitude.

If you think that the world is a rotten place and that the most greater part of the people they try to rub you, you will not only have more possibilities to be rubbed by the true cheats, but you will already cheated by yourself because you will be excluded by the contact with all the honest and loyal people around you.

If you allow your childish trust to surface instead and to be able to express a positive feeling, aware of to be able to face any situation, will be really your positive attitude to allow to see things clearly.

Accept Change As a Way Of Life

"The greatest revolution in our generation is that of human beings, who by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."

Marilyn Ferguson

A lot of people fear the changes.

They remain in the same place not because they would not know how to be in a new environment, but because they are afraid really of the change.

Nevertheless you can be certain of a thing: neither us neither the others, remain the same.

The change is the true essence of the life.

If we didn't change, we will stay exactly those that we are.

There would be no growth, neither life, neither death, nothing, if the change didn't constitute the base of our humanity.

What you like or not, the change represents a big part of you.

If you want to possess the fleeing sense of purpose, you will have to learn to cohabit with the whole concept of change, to consider it a friend and not to fear it.

To learn to be happy about a change can represent a big footstep in your life and naturally also in your process of continuous self-improvement.

Toward Self-Honesty

"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."

Henry Louis Mencken

The greatest obstacle to our personal growth is inside us.

It is more exactly the way according to which we think that who prevents often from becoming what we are.

If you want indeed to make giant footsteps, you have sooner or later need to settle up with yourselves and particularly with the auto-honesty.

If you ever asked yourself who you are trying to deceive with your way of thinking and your behaviour checked by the outside and you have concluded that is wrong to pull whoever's leg, because this way you also pull yours leg, then you are on the good road to reach the total self-honesty.

Perhaps you have already succeeded in identifying some of the defences and the falsehoods that you had adopted up to this moment.

If it is so, the next footstep to reach self-honesty doesn't impose you to confess, neither to feel yourself guilty for what you have done in the past.

It is simply necessary to accept the fact that some of your past choices were misleading, then to settle up with such choices, trying day by day to beat them submitting you to your internal signals.

Self-honesty means to get rid oneself of the need to measure one's own value according to the external terms and to observe instead oneself more objectively with the intention to live the way you want to live the present and not to try at any cost "to be as you have always been".

Self-honesty imposes you to testify your strength and your weakness in a much more realistic way, it imposes you to identify the defences that you have erected against the inside signals and it imposes you to work for eliminating them from your every day life.

Know The Leader Inside Yourself

"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."

Peter F. Drucker

Know The Leader Inside Yourself

Let's not limit us to manage, we optimise.

Do you appreciate the others for what they are and do you help them to draw the best from themselves?

The true leader understands the demands, the desires and the limits of his/her collaborators; he/she discovers their values, their convictions and the causes to which they vote;

The true leader helps them to understand what they want and sustains them to undertake the best walk to reach their objectives.

The true leader encourages them to exploit their qualities and he/she is firmly convinced that there is no better occupation than to stimulate a really similar to give the best of itself.

The leaders most involved illustrate histories that stimulate the maximum performances.

When their men know the defeat, they remember them the successes gotten in precedence.

They speak of the struggles, of the conflicts, of the perseverance and of the triumphs of the others.

The optimal leaders don't need to manipulate the other ones trying to convince them to do what it is not in their interest. They push them to act only in their interest.

Do Your Best In Every Situation

"No man can always be right. So the struggle is to do one's best, to keep the brain and conscience clear, never be swayed by unworthy motives or inconsequential reasons, but to strive to unearth the basic factors involved, then do one's duty."

Dwight D.Eisenhower

Dear friend, I perfectly know that there are some moments in the life in which it is not so effortless always to know if you are making the right choice.

Also I have been so many times in this situation.

I had to make a choice between two alternatives and I didn't know what pits the road to be taken.

Of a thing however I have always realized: after a few times from the decision time I always knew if I had taken the correct one or not.

If you are particularly careful and sensitive as enough, you will have realized that we have a whole kind of sixth sense.

Something warns if we are doing well for us and for the world, or there is something that doesn't works.

Something happens, always for example a small accident, a psychological discomfort, and a sense of inexplicable anxiety.

It is easy to liquidate these events as adversity or as simple effects of the case.
I don't know how do you think about it, but I am firmly convinced that the case doesn't exist.

They exist some laws that we don't simply understand.

Someone call them laws of the nature, somebody else calls them divine laws, other again they calls them laws of the big numbers or probability.

The wise men of every culture and every time have always taught that the man possesses a power called free will but at the same time he/she is subject to particular universal laws.

At the end you know what it counts indeed?

To do really one's best, but do it really.

I have always tried to do of my best without worrying me so much about what others may think.

Don't abdicate your desires, if these are in harmony with the universe and if you feel deeply that they are correct, go on and follow your own way firmly.

"Fortuna Audacia Iuvat" (Luck help audacious), ancient Romans said, and they were right.

Then stay serene lives your life, respect yourself, respect the others and also the nature and then always do Your Best!

To Whom You Place Your Life Experiences Responsibility?

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life."

James Allen

Do you take on you full responsibility for what it is your life or do you blame the others?

Do you believe in your right to take on you full responsibility to create your future?

Perhaps since you was a child somebody inculcated in you the conviction that it was precisely your duty to have to first of all help the others and that your objectives and desires were secondary.

For this reason felt you selfish when you think first to yourselves?

You perhaps believe to be able to be happy only if you are in love of someone.

There is nothing bad to be in love, personally I have rather lived several beautiful romantic and sentimental histories, but while I was living her I felt me terribly dependent from the women that I loved.

If you make to depend your happiness on the others, is giving them the power to create you or to destroy you.

Many divorcés (among which also me same, I admit) they have rebelled to this kind of conditioning.

Some people are considered victims of the life.

They are convinced that all of this that happens is out of their control.

Until you won't feel you responsibility to the 100 percent of your life and of your experiences, in the good and in the evil, you won't succeed in moving you of a single step.

This is the first and the hardest obstacle to overcome in the walk of personal growth and self-learning.

Why Not Bet On Yourself?

"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."

Saint Augustine

The difference between a man of success and a failure doesn't often consist in the fact that one has a greater ability or best ideas, but in its courage to bet on his/her own ideas, to assume him a well calculated risk, and therefore to act.

We often associate the idea of courage to heroic actions on the battleground, in a shipwreck or in similar moments of crisis, but also daily life asks for courage if we want to be constructive.

To stay inactive, the fear to act, make nervous who owes to face a problem, one feel "in the cage", "hunted" and this manifests him with a quantity of symptoms physic.

Study attentively the situation; try to imagine the various phases of your possible actions and the possible consequences of them.

Choose the way of acting that it seems you more advantageous and apply it.

If we wait to act up to when we are not completely sure of the result, we will never move a finger.

Whenever you act, you can be wrong.

Every decision we take can reveal wrong, but this doesn't have to hold back us to continue toward the goal we have appointed.

You have to have every day the courage to risk being wrong to risk failing.

A footstep in the wrong direction is better whether to be immovable the whole life.

Do You Use Both Sides Of Your Brain?

"I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking."

Albert Einstein

In the majority of people the left part of the brain concerns the logic, the language, the reasoning, the cause-and-effect process, the analysis and all those so-called "rational" activities.

When this part is at work, the other (the "right") is found in the "wave alpha" or is of rest.

The right part, has in turn, to whether to do with the rhythm, the music, the images and the imagination, the color, the ability to compare the day-dreams, the physiognomy, the recognition of examples and maps.

I have always been fascinated from the book "Use your Head" of Tony Buzan, in which she sustains that if an individual is encouraged to develop a mental area that he had previously considered weak, this development, instead to escape energies to the other areas, seems to produce a synergy effect of good mental output in all the areas.

The brains of the great minds appeared at first sight unbalanced.

Einstein and other great scientists had all the characteristics of individuals in which the left part of the brain resulted dominant, while the contrary one was worth for exactly personality as Picasso or Cézanne.

But the history denied these theories.

To school Einstein was rejected in mathematics and among his various activities he showed up the passion for the art, the study of the violin, the practice of the sail and "immagination games".

The numbers, the formulas, the equations and the words with which Einstein dressed again the new image had for resulted the theory of the relativity, a synthesis among right part and it departs left of the brain.

The great artists were likewise revealed gifted in everybody and two the parts of the brain.

But the supreme example of that that a human being would be able to do if the two parts of the brain were simultaneously developed he is constituted by Leonardo da Vinci.

To his times he was unquestionably the most gifted man in all the following disciplines: art, sculpture, physiology, general sciences, architecture, mechanics, anatomy, physics and inventions.

The conclusion is that once more an holistic approach results that more proper for self-improvement and personal growth, because, to my notice, it allows to melt and to harmonize all the aspects and the expressions of our being.

In my experience I can confirm only whether to alternate rational activity to imaginative activity is a real secret of our auto-improvement.

Do Not Rely Upon Approval Of Others

"Whatever task you undertake, do it with all your heart and soul. Always be courteous, never be discouraged. Beware of him who promises something for nothing. Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures. Do not look for approval except the consciousness of doing your best."

Bernard Baruch

The need to continually give test of itself to the other ones is the worse obstacle on the road of your personal growth.

If you surrender to this need you put you in the hands of the people of which you aim to get the consent and the admiration.

Those people who act with calm efficiency don't warn it.

The discourse is different in the case of children, because all, from small, they obey to the natural tendency to show.

Everybody wants that the others, and particularly his/her parents, approve them and share their pride for the acquisition of a new ability or for the attainment of a new victory.

"Daddy, look at me! Look as I swim, as I plunge me, as I skate, as I go by bicycle" and so on.

All, to that age, they have need that other people's eyes follow them with admired attention, because the childish self-concept develops him/her on the base of the reactions with which the adults welcome the overcoming of every new experience.

But you are not more than their children and therefore the need to make to notice you, or to show all the time how much you are worth it is not more admissible.

Unless you do not belong to that category of adults that they are not matured to sufficiency and they continue to aspire to the approval of those people that surround them.

If you won't know how to make to keep silent this need you will have to suffer quite a lot in the life, because you will feel you unhappy and deeply embittered and tormented by the internal doubts every time that the others won't pay you attention, or when they will disapprove you and above all when will not comprehend you.

Then you will find you closed in a vicious circle: you will strive never you to receive consents and respect and understanding and the others, realizing that you have a so great need of it; they would always purchase greater power on you.

If you desire really to become more independent, abdicates to be approved and also to be inclusive.

Not you even imagine how much energy you can free if you succeed in doing this.

The people that look for really to simply improve themselves don't have time to think about what the other ones they think.

This doesn't mean not to converse and not to listen to the others.

If you abdicate the consent and the approval of the others, paradoxically you become more attractive and charismatic, your power will increase, but you don't care to check the others, you want only to increase your knowledge and to improve yourself.

This attitude will serve from example to whom feels insecure, besides it will also stimulate in who is you near the desire to improve and to know.

Learn To Cohabit With Uncertainty

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security"

John Allen Paulos

One of the most precious things that I have learned in my life is the ability to manage uncertainty.

The most part of us thinks that to know every detail of ones life is suitable, before crossing it, but is does not works this manner!

To avert the unexpected has become an obsession in our western culture.

In name of the science and the technology and of the human progress they have been finished unfortunately many errors.

What I want to say is that perfectly useless to try to gag our run.

I am not nevertheless favourable to the anarchy; every evolved society has to obviously have its rules.

Even if we don't like this, uncertainty is a constant that accompanies us for the whole life.

Have I wondered therefore why to fight it? If it exists also owes you to be a reason!

Then whether not to make uncertainty a new friend of ours?

If everything were predictable and controllable, we would already live in a society caricature as that feared by Orwell (1984)

I believe that uncertainty is also a great opportunity to free our creativeness and to know better us deeply.

And I don't speak only of the ability to resolve complex problems or find a way out of critical situations.

Uncertainty is anywhere: in our sentimental relationships, as in the career, in the health, in the relationships with the others.

The secret consists of continually working for to become more solid, more invulnerable to the fashions, to the publicity, to what they think the other ones is correct to do or not to do.

If you turn off the television and go out to make a beautiful run on a beach and breaths deeply the fresh air of the sea and listening the gulls, will understand then something of very important.

There is something of fascinating and of mysterious in the uncertainty: the animals the plants and all of other being that live on our earth they are not sure to exist tomorrow still, yet does life go every day on and manifests him in thousand extraordinary ways, have you ever wondered why?

A individual cannot consider him/her really free and he/she can never improve himself/herself same if he/she doesn't also accept to cohabit with Uncertainty

The Oriental says that the void is the origin of every thing. I believe that in this affirmation there is a lot to reflect.

How-to Deal With False Self-Confidence

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. "

Sir Winston Churchill

The people that appear gifted in a false mastery of itself in almost all the circumstances are insecure people or they are "absolutists".

What type is the absolutist and because we speak here instead of speaking of self-learning and self-improvement?

The stereotype of the absolutist is that of an authoritarian individual, normally male, that expects blind obedience from all the others to which he can impose there own authority.

It deals with an aggressive, impatient and arrogant type, dogmatic, of narrow thought, one with which you absolutely cannot be reasoned.

The archetype of the absolutist could be one as Hitler.

I don't have difficulty to affirm that my father was an individual absolutist.

My father is dead 11 years ago.

Certainly I am thankful to him for the ethical principles that he has taught me and for the fact to have me beloved, even in his own way.

Nevertheless I have always had a hostile relationship with him really in regard to the ideas on the reality of the world and the relationship with the others.

He was without any doubt a type absolutist and pessimistic, while I always consider me eclectic, creative and optimist in any situation.

I have to also thank my father to have been different from me.

This has always pushed me to compare me with my deeper insecurities and with the image that I had made of me during my infancy.

I can quietly affirm that the run of personal growth that I began on myself really his death's year (1995) and that still continuous it is the true reason for my search and my personal improvement.

I don't believe is necessary for anybody to have a hostile relationship with his/her own father to have an auto motivation to improve oneself.

Nevertheless the extraordinary things that I have learned in my career and in my life and that have brought me to my success I owe them to the hostile relationship with my father.

Strength Vs. Weakness

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”

Albert Einstein

A person cannot simply defined as "strong" or "weak".

If you are suited to classify people in such terms, you will realize that there is no base, any criterion to establish the strength or the weakness inside yourselves or of others has not a comparison in the reality.

What the true strength and what is the true weakness? This is a philosophical question.

Who was stronger: Martin Luther King or the man that has murdered him? Adolf Hitler or Albert Schweitzer?

Does the champion of the world of lifting weigh or that woman that to save his/her child succeeded in lifting the car breaking her back?

When you will have thought well there, following what according to you they are the parameters for establishing the true human strength, you will discover that you will be strong even in the relationships with your family, only to turn yourself in cowardly as soon as you find you in front of your boss or of your colleagues.

Even you feel weak on Monday but "superman" on Thursday.

In effects each of us is a whole strength and weakness and if he/she is wanted to think in a holistic way, it is necessary to melt all the dichotomous and to see every part of his/her own behaviour as an unique thing, interpretable as a whole that contains elements of strength and weakness.

You observe your past.

When you are behaved you in a way that you could define strong now, even internally a lot of weak you were frightened.

If sometimes happened you feel a little cockerel, to feel you the strongest, the best of the neighbourhoods, you will probably be behaved you by bully, in a way that all the fears pointed out that you had inside.

Every time that observe someone that behaves in such way to induce you to a cataloguing of strength or weakness, remember that there is always some strength behind the weakness and, vice versa, not all of this that is weak is I deprive of strength.

To face the life in a holistic way will allow you to perfectly accept yourselves as aware human beings that nobody can ever impose you to make to acknowledge you that you are weak.

When you determine your future according to your good way of thinking, here that is transcending your weakness and you face the life in the best of the ways.

So you become commander of your ships no more than the simple passengers that accept the orders of others.

But all of this will be possible only if you will accept yourself and others as human beings since the beginning and always consider then weak and strong in the same moment.

How-To Overcome Maturity vs. Childish Dichotomy

“The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.”

Douglas Engelbart

Often among adolescents these sentences are repeated: "When will you grow!" "You are always a child". "Why you behave as a child?"

Dichotomy maturity vs. childish is almost exclusively used to insult the others and is not practically ever used by those people that have a true trust in himself/herself and know how to think for himself/herself.

In effects, in our culture it comes particularly used by the teen-agers when they want to mortify other teen-agers.

At school, girls consider themselves more mature than boys and often they judge a boy as mature or childish.

These girls are those whose face is smeared, they wear stuffed bras and they stop playing.

For quite a lot years they don't know how to do anything else other than to give judgments on her “maturity” of the people.

The worse insult that one can be receive is to be considered “immature.”

And who are those that they (the girls) consider “mature?”

The best fighters, the biggest, the tallest, the more bully, the more absolutists and, in short, the mature boys more superficially.

Whoever can have an immature idea on what in reality it is the human maturity, above all if one is never detained to think what understood maturity can be in the higher sense.

On my opinion the first true footstep toward the maturity, consists of recognizing that nobody is completely child or completely adult and that it would be a well sad thing if someone were it.

Who behaves in capricious, or foolish way, as immature in some occasion, he/she is also able to react in serious and responsible way in other circumstances.

The adult that is strictly monitored, organized, orderly and complete at work, he/she could be also able to let himself/herself go, to behave as fool, to be childish in certain circumstances.

The fact that someone is brought to encourage the others to act according to rigid behaviours arbitrarily defined mature, it doesn't try anything else other than if not the presence of a dichotomous thought.

This dichotomous thinking originally ignores the holistic phenomenon of each of us and always a little child and a little adult, a little mature and a little immature, until there will be life.

To follow to a self-declarated "behaviour of maturity" represents a serious limitation.

In this way you cannot feel new and exciting experiences and, more important thing, you won't ask you what really is human growth.

You won't see its unlimited nature, you won't be able to expand and to constantly revise your philosophy to decide what person's type you want to be and finally you will stop growing.

To Express Oneself Is Not a Moral Matter

"All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual."

Albert Einstein

I believe that it is harmful to assume a moral attitude on matters that in effects they don't have some moral base.

For instance to express oneself or the incapability to do it, fundamentally is not matters of ethics apart the fact that is ours to have to put the talent that the Creator has given us into practice.

Nevertheless to express oneself can morally become wrong for what concerns your conscience, if you were brusquely hissed, shameless, humiliated and perhaps punished as a child to have spoken, to have expressed your ideas, to be you 'shown.'

A child treated in this way 'it learns' that it is 'wrong' to express himself, to make himself/herself before expressing his/her ideas as ideas of a certain value, or even it learns that it is wrong to speak.

If a child is punished for having shown him angry, if he/she comes shameless because he/she has been afraid, or taken around because he/she shows a particular affection for someone, he/she learns that to express his/her true feelings is wrong.

Some learn even that sins and 'wrong' only to show the 'bad feelings as the fear and the anger, but inhibiting her bad emotions the expression is inhibited of also those good.

The meter to judge the emotions doesn't consist in the goodness or in the wickedness of the emotions themselves, but in the opportunity or inopportunity of the emotional reactions, according to the causes that produce them.

If every time that a child expresses his/her opinion he/she is scolded and put again to his/her place, he/she will learn that he/she is correct that he is 'anybody', and wrong 'will to be someone.'

A conscience so distorted and non-realistic makes us cowardly really.

We can become stump sensitive and to be worried excessively of the fact to have or not the right to also reach the success when we extend to a worthy purpose, coming even to ask us if we deserve it.

I believe that the first thing of which we have to be aware is that we have to allow for the conditionings of our infancy.

To overcome these conditionings the only way is to show to ourselves that we deserve the success instead and rather that this is one birthright of ours, in how much all of us were born with a particular vocation.

This vocation is our human potential, it is our oneness and also the deepest expression of the spirit of the mankind.

The Ideal Career Is To Become You

"The best careers advice to give to the young is 'Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.'"

Katherine Whitehorn

Dear friend, you probably won't believe what I am about to tell you, even if it deals with the greatest truth that I have discovered during mine career.

I suppose you is enough young and that you are interested to some advice on things like job and career.

Everybody always told you that every respectable person it has to have a proper role in the society, therefore a job dignified, a family, and so on, true?

There is nothing wrong in this, I absolutely agree.

However what happens when you go out of the college?

It is like to wake up from a long numbness: you brusquely realize you that life is an enormous arena, where it is necessary to compete, to race more of the others, to be the most cunning, true?

It will very probably be your turn to go up through the ranks, therefore if you will do better and you will respect your superior perhaps it will be then you granted to advance.

But unfortunately the things are not always so easy, you have ever wondered, why?

You think that the guilt is of the world, in which we live, of the society, of the political, of the nations?

The fact that life is hard for everybody it is not a matter of guilt, neither of fortune or adversity, is only a matter of as you see yourself.

I speak to you for direct experience and because I lived it in first person.

There are certainly people that have helped me, as my father, so many others have hindered me, but to me they didn't interest neither the favours neither the obstacles.

To me it interested to stay free to have my experiences and to go on.

What really interested me was to keep on doing something in which could be free from schedules and from directives, this means to say to make self-employed and to never have boss.

Besides my discipline and my ethics imposed not me of to try to get favours from anybody, included the obligation of to reciprocate in expectancy them.

In the meantime it interested me to learn how much more it was possible from every experience, also to loss of the monetary profit.

I had to make this at any costs. Will you ask yourself why? I perhaps have had some self-esteem problems during my infancy but now it does not matter: in to do this I have continually looked for the energies inside myself.

What I have learned is that there is an enormous potential inside each of us, a mysterious strength, a reserve of creativeness, of energy and of intelligence unbelievable.

Others are only on your mirror: the problem is that you don't know it. You can only experiment it.

In 1995 I had run for an important project of consultation, it treated of a charge of great responsibility, but I was the more young of the team and there were some most elderly colleagues and more experienced of me.

Do you know it how I got that charge? (What the figure yielded me of around $25.000,00 for 17 days of job, not bad!)

Showing to the project leader at the same time 2 things:

The first one was that if they didn't give me that job I lived the same and what if they were them to lose the opportunity to do a beautiful it shows up with the client.

The second was that I absolutely felt me sure of me and to be able to develop that assignment.

In 1995 I practised disciplines of the mind as the yoga one and meditation, "re-birthing" techniques and the "job to the mirror" of Louis Hay.

The results have been impressive and superior to any optimistic expectation.

It considers that I had never developed in precedence a similar charge and what the client was a great Italian industrial group.

Besides I didn't originate from their field.

My colleagues had to the shoulders a career as executives of firm, while I was a simple advisor in subject by law of the job and pay rolls.

My preceding experiences in the formation were limited to small interventions on behalf of regional corporate body of formation and in favour of young students, not of pictures and business executives.

Okay, I had a MBA but any experience as business educator in great firms.

At the end of the project, everybody was happy, the questionnaires apprised you of end course of 117 pictures and executives were all positive ones regard my performance.

The person responsible of the society of consultation (the project leader and senior consultant) has to retract him on the opinion about me and the customer was happy about the project, which went to good end.

Since then I understood that some situation doesn't exist neither of favour neither of difficulty, they exist only your mirror and you.

If you succeed in convincing the mirror (your unconscious) that you are able to do that job and that you deserve it to you, anybody, I say, anybody on this world can ever stop you!